If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
