dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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