I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I don't think brook has ever known best
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
