He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
