last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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