You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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