What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
