The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
