yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
