You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
