if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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