Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
