Kiss
Puke
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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