Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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