Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
