first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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