I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize