A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
