I have demons in me.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize