I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
