I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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