dude i'm inner monologue high
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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