you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
