it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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