Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
