would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
