No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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