Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
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she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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