Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
