You work out of a Hotel?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
