Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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