Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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