I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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