Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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