How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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