It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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