It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.