By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
NoShamevember. You game?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn