i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
