This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.