why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
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Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
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