You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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