Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
