haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
