Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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