She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
