they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
