Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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