This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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