Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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