First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
