Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
