Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
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Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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