the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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