Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize