oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
