I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
