and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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