I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
