forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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