Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
