Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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