How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
